When the end is just the beginning: How to use loss to kick start your life

This past weekend marked the 1-year anniversary of my baby brother’s death. He was in a motorcycle accident on September 10 last year, and legally declared dead on September 11, 2021. His organs were donated a couple days later, and within a week what remained of this whole being of a person was a 1-foot box of ashes.

Talk about a tough week.

I have always said the aftermath of death is the hardest part of loss. Picking up the pieces of your normal life that has just been shattered, and reorienting to a new way of being with a huge hole in your life, and all while carrying immense grief.

I of course am still working through the shock, the grief, and the pain of the aftermath of losing an immediate family member. And I’m sure I will be for a long time, if not for the rest of my life.

After all, my father died in 1996 (also abruptly in a car accident), and I’m still working through that! So, I’ve got a ways to go with my brother’s death…

I want to tread lightly here and not get sucked into toxic positivity - there is nothing worse that being in grief and being told (or telling yourself) to “just be positive” and “look on the bright side.”

What a cruel way to dismiss such powerfully intense pain and feelings of real suffering.

So I make room - LOTS of room - to let my pain surface and move through me, my body, my soul, my heart, my mind.

And I have a wonderful therapist who holds space for me to do so. (If you are experiencing grief from a loss, please seek professional support.)

And with that in mind, I also have moved forward in my life.

That’s can be one of the most disorienting things about death - the world keeps going. Your life doesn’t stop when someone else’s does.

There’s traffic you have to sit in. You’ve gotta go get groceries. The radio doesn’t hold a moment of silence for you, it just plays the next top hit. And everyone else in the world is caught up in their own drama of life themselves.

And you move through it as best you can while holding your own suffering.

So, this post is really about what it means to keep going. To move forward.

This post is about what it means to keep going, to keep moving forward.

The beauty is that after the death of a loved one, you begin to appreciate the preciousness of life in a more meaningful way.

Which is the beautiful gift that can rise out of loss.

Appreciating the preciousness of life in a more meaningful way is the beautiful gift that can rise out of the death of a loved one.

When you’ve got this fire under you that tells you how short life really is, you can start to live more fully.

It’s as though the reality of death lifts your vision, and you have a higher perspective of what’s really important.

• What do you want to accomplish in this life?

• What kind of impact do you want to have on the world?

• What legacy do you want to leave when you’re gone?

• Who do you want to be and how do you want to show up? As yourself? In relationships? In the world?

Death really does give you a new lease on life because all of a sudden, you realize you don’t have as much time as you think you do. So, you’re better get on making the life you want!

It encourages you to renegotiate what’s important to you, how you want to use your time, and what you want to prioritize in life.

So people aren’t so lucky to get this awakening before their life is over. Some people it’s too late to live fully before they are gone.

But not you. You have this chance RIGHT now.

And you are capable of so much more than you realize. All you have to do is actually GO for it.

In just one year alone, I have been able to accomplish things that I’d been dreaming about for years!

And this was during a time in which I was working through grief, depression, and my nervous system being wrecked because of trauma from my brother’s death.

I really learned the meaning of there never being a perfect time. You’ve got to start on your goals anyway.

In this past year alone, I have:

• Made more money than I’ve ever made in my life

• Got back into an industry that I love (working in higher ed)

• Started a graduate program to become a counselor

• Got admitted to Harvard

• Gone deeper in my personal development work than I’ve ever gone. Doing the deep inner healing work.

• Found the love of my life, my soul mate.

• Started two additional businesses to serve two new audiences.

• Travelled to new places all over the country, attending spiritual and psychology retreats to go even deeper into my personal work.

What could YOU do in a short period of time if you started living FULLY?

Luckily for you, you don’t have to go through an intense trauma like losing a loved one to start living fully now.

Ask yourself: What do I need to start living fully now?

This could be your chance to begin reaching your goals and become the woman you were meant to be all along.

What could you be actualizing in your life? How could you more fully realize your potential?

Your new life could look like:

- Lifting the burden of resentment, learning to deeply forgive, and creating a life in alignment with your Divine Purpose.

- Getting past the negative self talk once and for all, and start believing in yourself and your talent.

- Dropping the anxiety you have about how much others like you, and drop down into fully accepting yourself. You watch your empowering relationships bloom, and the toxic ones fade away.

- Skipping the alarm, the hurried breakfast, and the rush hour traffic each morning, which are all part of getting to a job you don’t even like for 40-hrs/week (x25 more years).

Instead you could be waking up knowing you can spend the day with your loved ones, enjoying a long morning of yoga, meditation, and journaling. And then working on your passion for a few hours each day or even a few hours each WEEK, all while making a powerful impact on others, and bringing in way more money than you ever imagined.

So, what is that you see yourself doing when you start to live fully?

Are you saying goodbye to those friendships/relationships you know you’ve needed to release for a while, and start making yourself available for people who lift you up?

Are you starting that business you’ve always been too afraid to start because you didn’t want to fail?

Are you enrolling in that course to finally get the skills you need to go to that next level?

Are you advocating for your raise and promotion at work?

Are you booking a month long trip to Greece to get some much needed r&r by the ocean?

What are you doing if you knew you only had a limited time to experience everything in this life you want to experience?

You know what your big goals are. You’ve been dreaming of them for years.

For me it’s getting a PhD, publishing a book, becoming a millionaire, and helping millions of women discover their Divine Purpose and reach their potential. (And buying a few houses around the world - Southern France, Florence, Vancouver, Santa Fe, Iceland. You know… my favorite spots.)

But sitting on your heels and wishing your dreams to come true is fairly tale thinking. Do you know why fairytales and wishing on stars appeal to kids so much? Because they don’t have any autonomy in their lives. They don’t get to choose the direction of their lives for the time being. So all they can do is wish.

The good news is… You’re a grown ass adult! You’re not a kid anymore, and you don’t have to just hope, pray, wish that all of your desires will somehow come to you.

You get to make them a reality.

You have all the power within you to manifest every single one of your goals. And maybe you need a little bit of help getting started.

This is the exact process I take my clients through to see MAJOR inner and outer transformation in their lives.

We start with doing a clearing - it’s the ultimate spring cleaning audit of your entire life and being. We clear out any stagnant energy, release any toxic relationships or habits in your life, so that you can start fresh.

Then we get your head and heart aligned as you learn about the fundamental building blocks of manifestation. You learn the secrets of the world’s ancient mystics, and learn how to apply them to your life as a modern woman.

After all, if you’re going to live in alignment with your Divine Purpose, you’d better get clear about what it is!

After doing a deep dive into spirituality, we work on getting your mindset in the right space. Your relationship with yourself is built on your beliefs that you hold. And they determine everything. So you’d better choose positive, empowering, uplifting beliefs so that you can go to the next level!

Once your internal (spiritual and psychological) world is cleaned up, it’s time to start taking a look outwards.

This is where we explore your relationships. When you stand in a position of leadership in your own life, you automatically build healthy relationships based on respect, healthy boundaries, and compassionate dignity.

Your relationships can make or break your trajectory, so you’d better make sure you’re cultivating relationships that will take you where you want to go.

And once you’re operating in a healthy way in your spiritual life, your relationship with yourself, and your relationship with others, then you can start to pursue your passions and purpose.

This is where the real magic happens in my work with clients! We take a look at building the infrastructure to create your dreams. You create impact. You create freedom. You create adventure. You create safety.

Whatever it is that lights you up… that’s what you can create.

And once you’re operating in a healthy way in your spiritual life, your relationship with yourself, and your relationship with others, then you can start to pursue your passions and purpose.

This is where the real magic happens in my work with clients! We take a look at building the infrastructure to create your dreams. You create impact. You create freedom. You create adventure. You create safety.

Whatever it is that lights you up… that’s what you can create.

This process that will take you from where you are now to where you want to be is a sacred process that most people don’t have the opportunity to walk through.

You are one of the lucky ones who is remembering this wisdom that comes from your own soul - this Divine prompting calling you to follow your passions.

So if you are ready to say YES to your new life, embark on the journey of self discovery, and finally start manifesting your dreams, join me in the Art of Authentic Confidence private mentorship.

This 1:1 program will help you transform your life from the inside out, and help you to create the life of your dreams.

What is possible for you? What do you envision for yourself? What are your deepest desires?

Answering these questions is not enough. You must ACT on them.

Remember that you don’t have as long as you think you do.

So let’s get started on creating your dream life today.

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Hello Lovely, I’m Sarah Byrd

EMPOWERMENT COACH & YOUR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT BFF

EMPOWERMENT OBSESSED, ENNEAGRAM 3 (ACHIEVER), MASTER’S IN COUNSELING STUDENT, HUMAN DESIGN PROJECTOR, CAPRIQUARICORN CUSPY BUDDHIST

I’ll help you awaken your inner Divinity, start loving yourself again, find power in your relationships, and finally start living that powerfully bold life you are meant to live!

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