Find Your True Spiritual Age
I’m celebrating my 30th birthday this week! It is a big milestone, and I love that I’m moving into it with intention… again.
Confession - this is not my first 30th birthday. I originally turned 30 in 2017. I was born in 1987 and my government age is 37.
So why am I celebrating my 30th birthday? I uncovered my TRUE age, and decided to change my age to that instead.
I heard about a rapper, Remi Ma, who had a birthday bash do something similar. She threw a big party celebrating her 35th birthday, even though she was turning 42. When asked why, she said, “I don’t count the years in prison.”
“I don’t count the years in prison.”
AMEN. Absolutely genius.
I loved this idea! I’ve never been to prison, but I kept thinking how I’ve had some years that were really tough, traumatizing, and I didn’t enjoy living. I felt like I was in a prison of my own life - like life was happening TO me, and I didn’t have a choice in what was happening.
Turns out, there’s a reason for that. When your nervous system is in survival mode, the pre-frontal cortex (your decision making center) basically shuts down and goes offline, and your body is then controlled by your sympathetic nervous system which puts you into fight/flight/freeze/fawn. Not many options.
Now I firmly believe in taking radical self-responsibility, but a part of that means acknowledging when your body is overriding your cognitions, and your behavior reflects that.
There were plenty of years in my adolescence and adulthood where I was traumatized, in survival mode, living in poverty, dealing with death/grief, etc. And in those years, I didn’t get a chance to be my authentic self because I was operating from the survival state. I look back on some of those years and cringe at the way I acted, the bridges I burned, and the relationships I kept. My life was a MESS in some of those years. And that was a reflection of living/suffering in this state of survival.
My own inner prison.
The practice of discovering my true age was such a gentle approach to these experiences, full of compassion and gratitude for the healing I’ve done. And I was ready to reclaim the years that I lost to just trying to survive.
Even if you’ve never been to prison (or even if you have), you can find your true age and start living from that. Turns out, you can do whatever you want. Nobody is policing you. Nobody is keeping track. You can be whatever age is true for you and reclaim your lost years.
Benefits of Living From Your True Age
Once I reclaimed my lost years and started living from my younger age, I’ve seen so many benefits in my life! Here are just a few that you might get in your own life when you live from your true age:
I feel younger! Instead of dreading being a year older, I keep saying “I’m only 29!” Then I feel like I’m doing great! (Not to mention my skin looked a little fresher, I noticed fewer grey hairs, and my body felt better. The power of the mind-body connection is REAL!)
I get to be intentional as I move into my 30s. I feel like I have a re-do of my 30s decade, and it feels like a miracle! It’s almost like a mini version of having a near death experience and coming back with a renewed sense of appreciating life.
I have less pressure about the milestones in my life. I don’t feel like I should be further along than I am. I’m working on my master’s degree right now, and instead of feeling behind and like I should have gotten it years ago, I now feel ahead of the game! Don’t own a house, kids, or husband yet? No problem! I wouldn’t want those things at this age anyway, so I have more time. (I personally am happily child-free and kind of anti-man at the moment, but you get the gist. Fill in the pressure for any milestone at any age, and it’ll have the same effect.) The whole “I thought I’d be further along than I am by now” that plagues millennials suddenly is lifted, at least some.
I have more patience and compassion for myself, rather than feeling like I should know more than I do. When I was 29 the first time, I felt like I had no idea how to live life like I wanted to. I now have so much more wisdom that I get to bring back to my age of 29, and feel so wise for being this age! I also have released any pressure to be anything MORE than who I am right now. I get to just be me, almost like a child learning to walk for the first time - you don’t expect them to run a marathon when they are just learning to balance. So I have brought so much more compassion, understanding, and honestly feeling proud about how I’m doing in life now that I’m back at 30 again.
I get to reclaim my youth. I have never in my life referred to my age as “only XX.” I’ve always been the oldest I’ve ever been, so it always felt like the leading edge. But now going BACK to 29, I get to say, “I’m only 29!” and actually indulge in appreciating my youth while I still have it (and for many years to come!). How many people get to old age or the end of their life and regret not enjoying their youth while they have it? Too many, and I’m taking heed and appreciating mine now.
I’m going back to my return of saturn year, and also my christ year. After 30 years of actually being ME, I get another chance at my return of saturn year. It’s a rite of passage into “real” adulthood, and feels so amazing to get to do it with intention. Same with my Christ year at 33, which is symbolically the year your have a transformation and bring your higher self into your everyday life. I’m not even a Christian, but there’s a ton of symbolism and numerology surrounding your 33rd year. So I look forward to doing that in a few years.
How To Find Your True Spiritual Age
So how do you actually find your own true age? It’s as simple as reflecting back on each year of your life and evaluating if you were living from your authentic self or a survival self.
I went back through the years of my adulthood starting at age 20, and thought about what I was doing, what my experience was like, and where I was.
Any of the years where I was traumatized, in poverty, or dysregulated to the point that I was in a state of fight/flight/freeze/fawn, I realized that I didn’t get to experience being me.
When your nervous system is dysregulated, you truly don’t have choice. Your body and nervous system override what you might truly believe or how you want to show up. And I lived many years like this, where I didn’t get to experience being me in my authentic self.
I wasn’t physically in prison, but I didn’t have the freedom to be my authentic Divine Self me. So I didn’t count it!
Once you have the years you’re including, simply count those up and voila - there’s your true age!
Once you know your age, you can keep your government age for official documents and what not, but you can LIVE by your new age! Anytime I interact with an official, I’m of course not going to “lie” about my age and will give my accurate birth year. But from now on I’m living from my new age in my own life!
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Hello Lovely, I’m Sarah Byrd
EMPOWERMENT COACH & YOUR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT BFF
EMPOWERMENT OBSESSED, ENNEAGRAM 3 (ACHIEVER), MASTER’S IN COUNSELING STUDENT, HUMAN DESIGN PROJECTOR, CAPRIQUARICORN CUSPY BUDDHIST
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