How to Lead an Uplifting Life Without the Toxic Positivity

There's a BIG difference between being optimistic, hopeful, and focusing on the good in your life
- and -
Toxic Positivity.

I'm not going to lie... there have been times when I've questioned whether I was being toxic while trying to live a positive life.

Were there times that I was? Sure. I fell into the "good vibes only" trap.

But were the good vibes the problem? Nope. The "only" is the problem.

When you say, "ONLY positive feelings are allowed," you're tying shame to anything less than perfect and happy.

But the depth and breadth of the human experience is SO much greater than just happiness.

We all experience joy & grief, pleasure & suffering, hope & fear. If we didn't, we'd be missing out on the beauty of what it means to be fully alive.

But it's not "bad" or "toxic" to WANT a more positive, uplifting, and free life. Those are great things!!

This is where Empowered Optimism steps in. When you practice this, you are acknowledging your pain, fear, or any of the "negative" emotions, and embracing the validity of that experience.

You're not making yourself WRONG for experiencing discomfort. In fact, this can often lead to incredible growth.

With Empowered Optimism, you can move through pain while ALSO holding the vision of hope. It's the ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel, even when you're in the depths of darkness.

It's being so connected with resilience and the ability to overcome. Like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, the story of Jesus resurrecting, and the hope for a new dawn.

So shifting your focus your attention towards the good, feeling gratitude, and finding the best in every situation will prepare you to have more resilience when challenges do arise.

And if you find yourself worried about being toxic in the positivity, all you have to do is ask yourself this question:

Am I using this positivity to avoid or dismiss an experience of discomfort?

If the honest answer is no, you're good to go.

If you're honest with yourself and the answer is yes, that's a good sign to dive into the thing you're avoiding so that you can move through and past it.

And it's that simple. You don't have to second guess your positivity, optimism, or hope if you're also willing to welcome the parts of you that are having a difficult time.

Toxic Positivity says "Only good feelings and emotions are allowed."

But this is honestly a form of gaslighting. It shames you for facing challenging, not being perfect, and tells you that you must HIDE any "bad" parts of yourself away - they're not welcome here.

SHAME FEST!!!

This is what creates the shadow - it's the parts of yourself that you reject and "hide away" into the shadows.

Does that mean you have to live a cynical life then, where you can never be positive?

Of course not. I like to call the opposite of Toxic Positivity "Empowered Optimism." Because life really DOES get to be enjoyable, uplifting, hopeful, and fun!

Empowered Optimism is taking a healthier approach to your real experience of life - challenges and all.

It says, "Even if today is tough, I know that I am capable of getting through it."

Living a life of Empowered Optimism allows you to fully experience the benefits of positivity. But instead of being shrouded in shame, it's enfolded in deep self-acceptance.

So love yourself, ALL of yourself, and lean into the hopeful joy of Empowered Optimism.

Ready for support navigating life's challenges and coming out even more empowered on the other side?

Join me in the Art of Authentic Confidence private mentorship. This 12-week program can change. your. life.

Join today at sarahbyrdcoaching.com/mentorship (link in bio)